So I walked into a bar a couple years back, head held high, chest
out. Actually, I have to say I strutted in. I paused, making a grand
entrance. I looked around for single women and made eye contact with
every one of them that I could. I then strutted up to the bar and sat. I
was determined to use my body language to attract women. I'd been
reading about how to do that and figured it was easy. All I had to do
was strut like a peacock. Pretend I'm an Alpha male. Do those things and
I'd have the women flocking to me. At least that's what I'd read.
I couldn't have been more wrong. Using your body language to attract
women takes a complete shift in your view of yourself and your view of
everyone else. To say I had no success that night would be an
understatement. You see, I did just about everything wrong. Once I'd
caught the eyes of one particular lady I stared. Yup, I stared. I didn't
understand the difference between a lingering gaze and a stare. Then I
got up, walked up to her (sorry strutted), let my hand rest on her
shoulder, leaned down and mumbled something like, "I couldn't help but
notice you checking me out." Ultra confident. She laughed. And all of
you reading this can laugh too. I slithered away. I'm sure it's not hard
for you to imagine the scene. We've all seen it so many times in bar
after bar, night after night.
The thing about using body language to attract women is that you just
can't fake it. If you try to the woman, actually everyone, will know.
So I had to backtrack. I couldn't just read one article on how to use my
body language to attract women, I had to read lots. And it all came
down to a fundamental shift in how I viewed myself. I had to be able to
look myself in the mirror and say "you are worth it." "You have value to
give a woman." So I started practicing that. Yup, sounds funny, but
every morning and every night I'd stare at myself in the mirror, head
h
eld high and chest up, but not out and say things like, "any woman
would be lucky to have me." I started working on my self confidence.
At the same time that I was working on my self confidence I was
practicing using body language. I started walking different all the
time. Not just walking into bars, but walking everywhere. My head was up
and I would try to make eye contact with every stranger. Male and
female. I'd make eye contact, smile and say something like "have a nice
day". This started a shift inside me. As I watched people reacting to me
positively my belief in myself grew, my belief that I was someone with
value grew.
Once my sense of self confidence improved I went back to the articles
and started to understand what I had been doing wrong. So I'd take
another piece of the advice, another tip and work on that. I learned how
to gaze just long enough to engage a woman without staring. I learned
how to approach her with confidence and then not tower over her, but
sit, meet her at her level. Towering over a woman is often seen by that
woman as dominating and threatening. Not what you want your body
language to say.
I learned how to tease a woman with my body, slowly, carefully moving
into her space, while keeping my words neutral and safe. This
challenges a woman. If you start moving into her space and teasing her
with your body, but your words aren't matching, the woman becomes
confused. She's asking herself is he interested or isn't he. Women love a
challenge and this will intrigue her. She will have to find out if the
guy is interested or not. She will now start leading the conversation
and using her body language to say "I'm interested" hoping that the guy
will pick up on this.
As I learned all these things and not only applied them, but believed
them I started to see far more successes than failures when I'd meet a
woman. You can too. It is easy, if you're willing to put the work in and
take action. Start by believing in yourself, then once that happens
start applying and practicing the different ways you can use your body
language to attract women. It doesn't happen overnight but if you read
the how to's, the articles, the e-books, if you're really ready to start
using your body language to attract women then you will see progress
and before you know it it will feel natural and that's when you'll see
an improvement in your dating life.
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