Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Use of Body Language to Attract Women

So I walked into a bar a couple years back, head held high, chest out. Actually, I have to say I strutted in. I paused, making a grand entrance. I looked around for single women and made eye contact with every one of them that I could. I then strutted up to the bar and sat. I was determined to use my body language to attract women. I'd been reading about how to do that and figured it was easy. All I had to do was strut like a peacock. Pretend I'm an Alpha male. Do those things and I'd have the women flocking to me. At least that's what I'd read.
I couldn't have been more wrong. Using your body language to attract women takes a complete shift in your view of yourself and your view of everyone else. To say I had no success that night would be an understatement. You see, I did just about everything wrong. Once I'd caught the eyes of one particular lady I stared. Yup, I stared. I didn't understand the difference between a lingering gaze and a stare. Then I got up, walked up to her (sorry strutted), let my hand rest on her shoulder, leaned down and mumbled something like, "I couldn't help but notice you checking me out." Ultra confident. She laughed. And all of you reading this can laugh too. I slithered away. I'm sure it's not hard for you to imagine the scene. We've all seen it so many times in bar after bar, night after night.
The thing about using body language to attract women is that you just can't fake it. If you try to the woman, actually everyone, will know. So I had to backtrack. I couldn't just read one article on how to use my body language to attract women, I had to read lots. And it all came down to a fundamental shift in how I viewed myself. I had to be able to look myself in the mirror and say "you are worth it." "You have value to give a woman." So I started practicing that. Yup, sounds funny, but every morning and every night I'd stare at myself in the mirror, head h
eld high and chest up, but not out and say things like, "any woman would be lucky to have me." I started working on my self confidence.
At the same time that I was working on my self confidence I was practicing using body language. I started walking different all the time. Not just walking into bars, but walking everywhere. My head was up and I would try to make eye contact with every stranger. Male and female. I'd make eye contact, smile and say something like "have a nice day". This started a shift inside me. As I watched people reacting to me positively my belief in myself grew, my belief that I was someone with value grew.
Once my sense of self confidence improved I went back to the articles and started to understand what I had been doing wrong. So I'd take another piece of the advice, another tip and work on that. I learned how to gaze just long enough to engage a woman without staring. I learned how to approach her with confidence and then not tower over her, but sit, meet her at her level. Towering over a woman is often seen by that woman as dominating and threatening. Not what you want your body language to say.
I learned how to tease a woman with my body, slowly, carefully moving into her space, while keeping my words neutral and safe. This challenges a woman. If you start moving into her space and teasing her with your body, but your words aren't matching, the woman becomes confused. She's asking herself is he interested or isn't he. Women love a challenge and this will intrigue her. She will have to find out if the guy is interested or not. She will now start leading the conversation and using her body language to say "I'm interested" hoping that the guy will pick up on this.
As I learned all these things and not only applied them, but believed them I started to see far more successes than failures when I'd meet a woman. You can too. It is easy, if you're willing to put the work in and take action. Start by believing in yourself, then once that happens start applying and practicing the different ways you can use your body language to attract women. It doesn't happen overnight but if you read the how to's, the articles, the e-books, if you're really ready to start using your body language to attract women then you will see progress and before you know it it will feel natural and that's when you'll see an improvement in your dating life.

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